Nothing Rhymes with "Month"

I have drawn circles in chalk at one in the morning, making my neighbors think aliens have started some new trend of crop circles.

I have been so tired that fatigue sat on my chest in the morning and wouldn't let me catch the bus.

I have made threats I can't back up.

I have gone to four bars to ask for a cocktail umbrella, only to have them hurry me away (lest the authorities see them serving a decorations to a minor).

I have learned how to jump start a car, and then had the opportunity to put my knowledge to good use.

I have screamed in a theater full of avid Potter fans because I knew that she was going to turn into a snake.

I have been in my funniest and scariest car ride ever - and lived to tell the tale.

I have gotten two stickers on calculus quizzes (and kept the stickers, of course).

I have been a dinosaur, a role model, a coward, and a minx.

I have been a trembling, anxious sleepwalker and found the relief on the other side.

I have contracted stomach flu - and lived to tell that tale, too.

I have had key-lime-pie-flavored gum, and watermelon-flavored gum, and both were equally delicious.

I have been robbed of my own mental privacy, which is both terrifying and exciting, but never at the same time.

I have been told to leave alone the person I would kill to talk, and have wanted to kill the person who won't leave me alone.

I have sang in Concert Choir, which lifted my spirit to some empyrean that I have yet to definitively name.

I have written a poem that was awarded Top Ten in a contest that I did not enter, for a piece I do not remember writing.

I have eaten half a bag of lemon drops so my tongue tastes like sunshine.