Once when I was younger I was carrying a glass of bright red paint across my house. I was warned of what would happen if I spilled. The very idea of the consequences shook my hands. I can’t remember if I tripped or just let it fall, but that glass of paint ended up seeping into the beige carpet of our family room.
You gave me something dangerously fragile. I panicked. I tossed it back to you to get it off my hands and it ended up shattered on the ground. I replay it in my head, how it releases from my grasp, flies through the air and breaks. That’s why your heart is broken.
i don't have an issue with you and him, just him holding my opinion in disregard. i assume he told you, but you two have my blessing. if this is what makes you happy, then it would be hypocritical of me to oppose it. that's the terminal impact to life, right?
ReplyDeletei can tell what time of year it is by the look of your face every time i take those brief, peripheral, glances toward you lately. i hope this new path means my assistance in your pursuit of happiness is no longer required because we both know that i've lost the power, ability, and motivation to do so. i grudgingly pray that you found the right person to do that for you.
it was a dangerous game i got myself into, and we both came out bruised. i hope your rationalization of its conclusion proves to be true and that it suppresses your anxiety.
i don't what was happening during the early hours of october 17, but i hope you never get to that point again. all i can do is hope now.
i don't like looking at that red stain on the beige carpet and it seems you don't either, so let's looking at it.
it goes without saying that you shouldn't publish this one and don't let him see this, he already overestimates how well he thinks he knows me.
tonight i operate outside of the coordinates, and tomorrow you'll be gone.
goodnight cosette, hopefully this will be the last time your hear from "me" in a while.
Autumn will come soon, i have faith.